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poetry
Birthday

Birthday - 11/21/19

At the end of the day
This date is about being grateful
Grateful for having been born
Grateful for a lack of answers to mysteries
That keep me tethered to the earth
Instead of giving up

My mother planned a dinner for me that
Initially felt like it "upset my plans"
Plans I had made for myself
Plans to do the exact things I wanted
In the timeframe that felt easy
Comfort being the Birthday default

But this is the bottom line:
How lucky I am to have a loving family
How lucky I am to have loving friends
How lucky I am to have a warm home
And a roof of reflection, over my soul
Showing me, Yayoi-like, ancestry's infinity

What a privilege it is to be part of something
So painful, beautiful, miraculous and confusing
What a challenge it is to look the future in the eye
While lamenting mistakes and resolving to do better
Knowing, all the while that regret is as ambitious
As ambition is given to driving blind

Today, however many years ago as I feel like
Revealing, my mother went through literal hell
So I could live with glistening hope, aching dreams
Grasping all day, every day, for colors so vibrant
They make it hard to know where to begin
And yet, here I am, a new year, a new chance

To begin again, to learn what every year I forget:
At the end of the day
This date is about being grateful
Grateful for having been born
Grateful for the ability to ask
Humbled by your willingness to listen